She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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