Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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