2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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