I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
