My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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