that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
