Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
