Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I faked an abortion last night.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
