so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
