I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
