dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
