I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize