R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
