I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
