My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
