my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
