You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
