His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
