Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
