Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.

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(512): View more from Texas

Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.

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(614): View more from Ohio

i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Are you already high?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar

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(845): View more from New York

Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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(954): View more from Florida

Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away

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(425): View more from Washington

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED

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