My liver just broke up with me...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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