What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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