dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
