who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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