Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
