I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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