Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
