More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
