Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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