Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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