Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
