you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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