Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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