No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
