How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
