i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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