You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
