Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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