Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
