Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
