So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He shit in the fireplace
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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