Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
