whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
