You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
what the fuck happened to the tacos
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
