it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jerry, you need to find god
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
