OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
