More tranny stories later!
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
