He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
