Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
