it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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