Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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