i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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