Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
