real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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