So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
