What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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