Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
