Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
