Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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